Man's Best Friend

Have you ever seen the movie Marley & Me?  The first time I watched that movie, I couldn't believe how similar that dog and our dog Sam were.  I felt like they had hidden cameras all over our house and made a movie based on him.  Even watching it now, I see so many similarities.

After we got married in 2007, we went to our first station in Colorado Springs, CO.  What's one of the first things you do after you get married?  You get a dog.  Well, in our eyes it seemed like the next step and we THOUGHT we were ready.

Dating??
Check.

Engaged?
Check.

Career?
Check.

Married?
Check.

Next on our list was to get a dog.  We both wanted a lab.  Jacob really wanted a black lab.  I didn't care which color, as long as it was a lab. My last dog growing up was a yellow lab named Jr. and Jacob had a childhood black lab named Skeeter.  So in a way we wanted to have those memories back.
 
Our mission started on a saturday morning when adoptions were taking place all over the city.  We ended up at a Wag n' Wash and saw mixed black labs.  One was Sergeant and one was Sookie.  We hung out with Sookie, he was the cuter of the two, and instantly bonded.  We paid our dues and took him home.  Picking out his name was very easy.  He had white on his chest, just like Jacob's Hurley sweater he was wearing.  He was the easiest dog we've ever had.  He was a homeless puppy along with his brothers and sisters and had been fostered by an old lady.  We were pleasantly surprised  that at 3 months old, it took one potty accident to potty train him, he didn't chew on things, he was just all around a great starter dog.

Then one day, a couple months later, we had the bright idea to get him a companion.  We both worked all day and thought Hurley could use some company.  So on another saturday morning,  we decided to go around the city again and look for another black lab. We overheard at one of the adoptions that a lady was selling black lab and one yellow lab puppies at Del Taco.  We rushed over there as fast as we could!  I wanted the yellow one....we've seen plenty of black labs by then, but no yellow labs.  When we arrived, people were walking away with puppies, but there were still 6 black labs about 8 weeks old in the back of a truck with a camper shell.  I picked out a quiet little girl sleeping on the side.  Jacob wanted the only one with fierce blue eyes, a little boy.  We had Hurley with us and decided it would be a family decision.  Jacob walked to one side with his choice and I walked to the other with mine.  We let Hurley off his leash.  He ran straight to the puppy with blue eyes.  It had been decided.  We paid the lady and were on our way.  The movie "I Am Legend" had recently come out, so no matter if it was a boy or a girl, the dog's name was going to be Sam.  Samson.  Samsonite.  Sam I am. Sammy.  Our new puppy.  We didn't even get a block away when the puppy was howling.  We should've known right then and there this was a bad idea.

The first night was terrible. He howled all night, just like a newborn baby. We tried to console him, but he would only stop crying if he was in the bed with us.  It took over 3 months to potty train him.  Everywhere he decided to go to the bathroom, so did Hurley.  We had to train the new puppy and Hurley all over again.  Needless to say, a steamvac was one of our first priorities.  I came home on many different occasions with the house completely in shambles.  He got into the donation food bag for Thanksgiving and completely ripped up the stuffing and jello mix.  There was powder all over the living room.  On top of that, he peed.  So we had jello powder mix, mixed with dog pee on our carpet.  Gross.  When we left the house to run to the store, we drove by the front and looked over to see Sam standing on the screen window on top of a bush crying because he couldn't get down.  By now he's 6 months old and about 50 pounds.  Such a scaredy cat.  Whenever he would do something bad, he would run straight into the room and under the bed.  Well as he got bigger, he couldn't fit under there anymore, but in his mind he could.  He would run in the room and dive under the bed, but only his head would be hidden.  He would freeze his whole body to the point where I almost thought he was holding his breath.  He was one of the hardest puppies ever!  He was always getting into things, chewing on everything, eating everything, getting on all the furniture, etc.  He really thought he was a lap dog.  We decided to kennel train after all that.  We tried doggy gates but those only worked for a couple of days before he realized he could get into other things.  His kennel became his own bedroom and after a few months, he really loved his bed.

We realized about 6 months later that Sammy and Hurley were both black lab, but had taken over their other breed.  We didn't know what else Sam was at the time, but as he got older it was obvious he was half Great Dane.  So our little puppy was half horse.  By the time they were both "adults" Hurley was 35 pounds and Sammy was 110 pounds.  HUGE difference!  But even then, calm Hurley was the alpha male and Sammy still thought he was the tiny puppy he was when he first met Hurley.

Sam had some funny little quirks about his personality.  He was one of the most unique dogs I've ever come in contact with.  When we brought Maxson home, everytime he would cry Sam would howl.  He wanted nothing to do with Maxson...the new furless puppy had taken over and he was no longer the baby.  He would wake us up every morning by having his face on the bed next to ours and breathing deeply.  He snored. REALLY snored.

We took him to a dog park with a creek....and just like in Marley & Me, he completely embarassed us.  All the other dogs were drinking the fresh creek water and laying in it.....our dog, Samson, pooped upstream.  All you see is him squatting while his poop floated past all the other dogs.  We just looked at each other and walked away.  You would step on him and fall down and he wouldn't move a muscle.  He laid down to eat and drink.  He walked while squatting to poop...so there would be a poop trail.  He knew how to open all the doors.  He was always making his presence known.  He always wanted to be with us no matter what we were doing in the house.  He would even lay outside our shower and wait.  He was pretty much the exact opposite of Hurley.  Hurley is more like a cat.  He likes to be by himself.  Eats when he feels like it.  Stares at the ball when you try to play fetch.  Sleeps all day.  Literally the exact opposite.

August 26th started out as a weird day in our household, but we didn't realize it at the moment.  For some reason, in the end you start looking at the beginning.  Over analyzing every detail in your day.  Jacob usually sets his alarm to go to the gym in the morning, but snoozes through it.  This particular morning he was ambitious and decided he was heading to the gym.  It was cloudy out, so I wanted to take Maxson to a little hill nearby that had a  park.  We were going to hike and just hang out after his morning nap.  Jacob came home as I was putting Maxson down around 9 a.m.  He wanted to take the dogs out since it was cloudy so they could get their exercise (they get walked at night because it's too hot in the daytime).  We weren't going to take them with us, because Sam gets pooped after his walk and likes to lay around.  We were planning on hanging out for a little bit.  I put Maxson down and pretty much just watched him contently playing in his crib through his monitor.  He never does that on his morning nap.  He's usually out for a good hour.  Since he was content I let him be.  About 45 minutes later, still no crying and still content.   I watched him on the monitor as he cuddled up to his blanket and finally passed out.  Everything is on Maxson's own terms.  Little turkey.

 It's now 10:00a.m.  I run up to the roof deck to see if I can see Jacob and the boys walking back....I don't see them....so I assume they're on the other side and almost home.

My phone rings.

Jacob said Sam is laying down and can't walk and he needs me to go get him.  They're down the street.  Call me a bad mom, but I went down the street and got them while Maxson slept.  When I pulled up, Sam was laying in the gutter with his head on the curb.  He was bleeding from biting his tongue when he fell down.  Sam is notorious for getting tired during his walks because of his bad back legs.  That morning he showed persistence and wanted to go further than his normal walk, so Jacob obliged his request.  Well now we thought he was showing signs of him being overworked.  Typical Samson!

It takes him a little longer to get in the car than usual.  It's like his paws don't work.  Like watching a drunk dog attempting to use them for the first time.  He decided to get in the front seat for the first time, but we didn't mind.  He barely fits on the seat and is halfway onto me.  My right arm was covered in blood and drool and blood was getting all over the seat and door.  He really bit his tongue bad.

A couple minutes later we pull into the garage and guide him into the house.  Again, his paws don't seem to work and he's stumbling all over the place.  Now there's blood on our garage wall and door frame where he stumbled.   We lay him down on the carpet,  where it meets the tile,  and let him rest. I give him his pain medicine for his legs, we wet some towels and wipe him down, get him a bowl of water, and just make him comfortable.  We've done this before so we know the routine.

Maxson is still sleeping.  Little turkey.

Sam won't drink any water, but keeps trying to get his head up and immediately lays back down.  We decide he's pretty comfortable and just needs to rest, so we start hanging up curtain rods and try to finish our house projects since Maxson is asleep.

It's now 12:00 pm.

I walk by Sam and realize he's starting to seize.  I know the signs since my old dog Jr. had epilepsy. Sam never seized before. I know it's a lab trait, but Jr. started doing it quite early in his life and Sam never did.   He's only 5 years old.  The only complication he's had is his back legs. I remained calm.  Like I said, I've seen this before.  You just have to give him his space and let the seizure go.  Jacob starts comforting him as I start calling the Emergency Vet hospital out here.  It's Monday....why is it closed? I call the other one which is quite a few miles away, they said to bring him in immediately.  I run outside to take out the car seat to put Sam down in the back.  I go back inside and see Jacob holding Sam in his arms on the ground.  All I can hear is Jacob crying hysterically.  Sam had died.

It's now 12:05.

I'm pretty much in shock at this point.  What happened?  What happened in 5 minutes from our dog having a seizure to him laying lifeless in my husband's arms?  He wasn't supposed to die.  He was having a seizure then he was going to be fine.  How did our world flip upside down in a matter of minutes?  We're both hysterical at this point.  Poor Hurley is licking Sam's head and nose.  Sam had bad ears and every single night Hurley would clean them.  Even in death he is still taking care of his little brother.  Sam is so lifeless and quiet.  He's never this quiet, not even when he sleeps.

We laid with him, petting him and crying for the next 4 hours waiting for them to come and pick him up.  We just kept telling stories and talking about memories.  We'd cry in between.  Blame ourselves for letting this happen.  Wondering how in the world he was his hyper self just two hours before...

  We decided to get him cremated and plan on sprinkling him in the snow, since that was his favorite.  It's amazing how you wake up in the morning and go about your day not thinking this will be the last day I'll see my dog, or anyone for that matter.  Again, what happened?  This isn't how it was supposed to end for Sammy.  Don't you usually put your dogs down?  After speaking with a friend in the Vet field and looking up things online, it seems as though he had a heart attack.  Heart problems are common in Great Danes and they live on average 6-8  years.  We had no idea.

Maxson is still asleep which is also weird.  For the first time ever, he ended up taking a 3 hour nap that day.

We didn't lose a dog that day, we lost our second son.  We always got frustrated with him, but loved him none the less.   He was more aggressive with Maxson than we cared for, so we always talked about getting rid of him.  We'd ask around and mention it to people.  I'd even joke that we'd pay for his food for a year.  We honestly would never have done it.  He was family. Even after being aggressive with our son twice and nephew twice, we still kept him.  He was a part of our family and this is his home.  We bought this home with intentions of living out our plans and creating new memories as a family...and Sam was in all of them.  We loved how open the living area was, so we could play fetch in the house with him.  We were excited about all the walking trails and areas around our new neighborhood and tried with our might to start walking them on a daily basis.

I always thought I'd come home one day and find Maxson riding Sammy like a horse.  It makes me laugh and want to cry at the sametime just thinking about that.  I thought Sammy would graduate from sleeping next to Jacob on his side of the bed to sleeping with Maxson in his bed.  I even thought about how I would have to tell Maxson his dog died.  I'm even more sad that Maxson will never get to experience this wonderful, but crazy dog of ours.  Stories will never do him justice.  We have plenty of videos.  And even videos we've taken with him around, all you hear is his heavy breathing or one of us yelling at him.  Sam was always there. The one thing we noticed right away was how quiet our house is.  Our house hasn't been quiet since before we bought our little Del Taco puppy with the blue eyes.  It's like an eerie quiet.  Something is missing.  Our house just feels cold.

I've never felt a heartache like this.  I've lost my grandparents, my dad, a few friends throughout the years, but never have I felt like my soul is physically hurting.  All I could think about after he died was how mean I was to him.  I could've pet him a little more. Bought him more treats.  Paid a lot more attention to him even though Maxson was here now.  But that's what you do when someone dies, right?  Regret is one of the steps of grieving.

The hardest moments are the ones when you know Sam would be doing something.  I was cleaning Maxson's high chair and held some of his treats behind me and called for Sam, not even thinking. Instantly I started bawling.   Jacob always called Sam's name when we were heading up to bed....he still did a few times.  We never realized how much he was a part of our daily lives until he wasn't anymore.  He had to be right there when we were giving Maxson a bath or putting him down for his nap or for the night.  He was always there.

You never know how someone feels.  I lost my dad, but someone else might feel different about their dad.  Or people around me felt different when my dad died than I did.  I look at Hurley and hurt for him.  I'll never know or understand how he feels.  He lost his best friend that has been with him every single day for the past 5 years.  I'll never know the bond they felt or how much he's hurting.  I can see he's changed.  He didn't eat for almost a week.  Hurley never ate until Sam did first.  Must've been a big brother thing.  We picked up Sam's ashes exactly a week after it happened.  The first thing Hurley did was eat his entire bowl of food.  I was shocked.  He wouldn't even come around us.  Hurley always slept elsewhere in the house and Sam was always out and about with us in the living room or what not.  Hurley slept in all of Sam's usual nap spots.  Even when we went to sleep for the night, Hurley slept in Sammy's bed.  Throughout the day, he would walk in and out of all the rooms, even scratching the door to go on the deck.  He would scope out every nook and cranny looking for his little brother.  Just observing him made my heart hurt so much more.  I realized we put Hurley away when they took Sam's body.  That was probably a mistake on our part.  He probably didn't get his chance to say goodbye.

Oh Samson.  He's definitely a dog that will never be replaced or can be replaced.  He left a mark on every person he met....whether it was his drool or his personality.  I've never seen my husband grieve as much as he does for Sam. Of course we still talk about him everyday.  I say hi to him since he's in our living room now, but it'll never be the same.  Our new house, barely lived in, actually has memories of Sam in every single room.  We even see his eye boogies in places they shouldn't be.

Who knows how long we'll grieve, or if we'll ever stop.  There's no time limit on grief just like there's no measurement on love.  High in sight, I'm glad we never took him to the vet.  He died right here with his family and those he loved more than himself.  He died comfortable and not in a vet office.  He'll forever be the coolest dog we ever had....and will always have a special place with us. Our Sam.

A rant about food

I feel like I'm going to be a vegetarian soon.

I keep seeing documentaries about how animals are being treated.  Why is it fair that as humans, the "superior race", we have the right to do that?

The whole "supply and demand" crap doesn't sell me.  Look around at our world.  People are so overweight now, eating themselves to death.  How is that keeping up with the demand?  The demand for people to gorge themselves...  I don't get it.

I watch Masterchef and all the other cooking shows.  All I can think about now is all that food that is being wasted.  How many chicken had to die for a show....  how many cows had to be forced to get pregnant to produce more milk for that ice cream eating contest...  is that really necessary?  We're not eating what we need to survive, we're stuffing ourselves.

I don't understand when people turn away from it because they love food too much.  Why is it okay to torture other living beings for your guilty pleasures?

I just watched a video about pigs.  They take piglets and immediately rip off their testicles with their gloved hands.  The pigs are artificially inseminated, forced to lay down being held down by bars, while their piglets are eating off them through the bars.  After so many days, the moms are then slaughtered because they're not needed anymore.

Cows can only have their calves for 3 days.  They're artificially inseminated to stay pregnant so they can produce enough milk for us humans to drink.

HUMANS TO DRINK COW'S MILK.

Does that make any sense?

We're the only species on the entire planet who drinks another animal's milk after infancy.  Why is that?  Some genius years ago decided cow's milk has tons of calcium and protein...so we should drink it.   Cows produce milk for baby cows, just like humans produce milk for baby humans.  We're not designed to drink milk past infancy....why don't we all just walk around with bottles then?

So again, we FORCE animals to reproduce so that we may consume the milk that is intended for their baby that we ripped away from them.  We might as well pull a baby cow away and start suckling on the cow's udders.

I need to stop watching these videos.

Maxson's Therapy

We've been hearing over the past few months how smart Maxson is... I feel like everyone says your baby is either cute or smart, it's just the thing to say to people.  We assumed our therapists were just making those comments to encourage him in his developmental adventure.  Since I don't have any other kids or haven't really been around babies....everything he does just seems like the next milestone we can check off the list.

Crawling?  Check.
Sitting on his own? Check....

His two therapists last week, Carly and Ilene, asked me if he was cruising (walking along furniture while holding on) yet and if he started bridging (going from one piece of furniture to another that ARE NOT connected).  He has not done that yet.  He just started cruising along the couch.  Whenever he'd lower himself, he'd put down one hand and try to touch the ground before he'd let go...usually ending with a small crash.  We were given homework to do with him at home...help him cruise more and learn how to bridge. They said he should have that down within the next 2 months, especially how fast he's learning everything.

A few days later I was hanging up pictures and looked over at Maxson to make sure he wasn't getting into any trouble.  He was bridging on his own for the first time.  Like everything else he does, I was baffled.  I'm always getting praised at the therapist office for Maxson being so advanced and it's obvious we're working with him.  I tell them time and time again I don't do anything.  I would love to take the praise, but it's all him.  I think he secretly takes notes during his appointment and decides to master it by his next appointment.  One thing the mentioned that probably helps him is we let him roam around the house as much as possible.  He's been in a walker twice for no more than 5 minutes at a time.  He hates that thing.  He LOVED his jumper, but we wouldn't put him in that for more than an hour a day. He did it for some exercise, but we didn't use it as a baby sitter.

The next day after his first successful side-by-side bridging event, he was holding onto the couch, and decided to bridge to the ottoman BEHIND him.  This kid is crazy smart.  I started watching him lower himself, and there's no more crash landing either.  He does a very impressive squat, that even makes me jealous!!  He lowers himself, touches the ground with a flat hand, and pulls himself back up.  Knees over toes!  Ass to grass! Oh the butt I would have if I could do that! lol!

The day before his appointment (Wednesday), he decided to start climbing furniture.  He only raised his arms and attempted to put his foot on the next step.  He tried that over and over until he got bored.   He has been trying to climb out of his crib for 2 months now.  I watch him on the monitor as he holds onto the front railing, step on the bumper, and pulls himself up.  He then proceeds to go sideways until he gets to his mobile, which is almost all the way to the side.  He holds onto the mobile and climbs up to the side of the crib and just hangs out.  A few times I watched him take his ninja turtle pillow (it's not very big, it's Raphael's head) and put it in the corner to use as a booster.  It's quite impressive actually.  He was doing that better than he was crawling!  Of course we lowered his crib, but he still manages to get up there.  We'll see how long this lasts before he's knocking on the door to get out!

So Thursday finally arrives, one week later.  We take him to his appointment and they put a little activity table in the room to watch how he pulls himself up and lowers himself...to make sure it's controlled and he's not crash landing.  Like any other day at home, he crawled to his table, pulled himself up, and lowered himself into his squat, and came back up.  Ilene was impressed.  He then decided to take it up a notch.  He goes up on his tip toes to reach the other side of the table.  Then, the over achiever Maxson is, decided to walk around the table, step on a small, hard giraffe toy, and balance himself on that with one foot, while he continued to play.  By that moment Ilene is through the roof.  (We absolutely love her by the way! We think she's great with him...  We love seeing her every week even if it's for 30 minutes.)  She says she can't believe what she's seeing and she might have to let him go soon since he's doing stuff that 12-14 month olds are doing.  Of course I'm happy he's doing great, but sad to not see Ilene soon in the future!  I told her we also play with a ball...we roll it back and forth.  Again, she said he shouldn't be doing that yet.  So she sat on one side and rolled the ball to him....he picked it up with two hands, licked it (because that's what he does) and sent it back.  After all the impressive stunts he was pulling, she wanted to try some weight bearing on his arms.  She puts him in a push-up position, but holds his legs.  She counts to see how long he hold his weigh on his arms without bending them or lowering himself.  Usually, she only counts to ten, but she wanted to see how long he would go.  That little turkey decided he would just walk on his hands to a toy.  It reminded me of the wheel barrow races!  He got to a toy and bent and arm while balancing on the other....that was 30 seconds later.  She doesn't expect kids to walk on their hands until at least 12 months.  Needless to say, it was a good occupational therapy session...and Maxson was a little show off.

Right after Ilene comes Carly, for physical therapy.  I let her know he's bridging now and not crash landing.  She asked if he's been attempting to climb and I told her he started that yesterday...just putting his feet up on furniture but can't pull himself up yet.   She goes and gets a bench.  It's similar to a piano bench, just slightly lower and longer with a blue padding on top, like a seat.  He crawled to that darn activity table again, pulled himself up and lowered himself.  Carly is already impressed.  Such a dramatic improvement from last week without crashing.  He then decided to pull himself up again and play, while on his tippy toes.  Little show off.  He bridged from that to the bench and back and forth.  He cruised all up and down the side of that bench like it was nothing.  Yet again, he decided to take it a step further....he hopped up onto the bench, like he was going to go head first over it, and kicked his legs like crazy trying to get himself on it.  She was now highly impressed.  This crazy kid goes back to the activity table and rips off the hippo's head like it was nothing.  Carly, Jacob, and myself lost it.  We were all laughing so hard.  It was a classic "Hulk" moment.  It was so effortless.  To top it off, he held it up in the air when he was done, like he was a macho caveman waving around the game he just killed.  She also decided she doesn't need to see him every week anymore and needs to go to every other week.  He's going to fade out of that therapy as well.  They both made the comment he's "all boy!"  Probably going to have my hands full with this one!

He's starting speech therapy soon so we can get him drinking out of a cup!  It doesn't seem hard, but it is when you can't close your mouth on one side.  As you can imagine, the liquid just comes flowing right back out.  Sippy cups?? Same thing.  Straws?? Can't suck up yet, but I do give him water through the bottom of the straw.... I also LOVE the speech therapist!  We worked with her while he was in the NICU...trying to teach him how to drink from a bottle!  I look forward to working with her very soon. :)

After therapy we went for a walk.  We're attempting to do that everyday.  We're not perfect so some days get skipped!  But it was cloudy and not hot out so it was perfect.  Maxson HATES being confined.  He hates the carseat.  He hates being strapped in a stroller.  I always leave him unstrapped.  Lately he's been standing up in the stroller.  It gives me a heart attack.  I set him back down and wait until he does it again.  No toy or food distracts him long enough!  Well that night he decided to continuously stand! No matter how many times I put him down, he stood right back up!

Of course I took a picture before I thought of something!  The front part where the legs go folds up to block it in....and the "seat" can be laid flat.  So I decided to  make his stroller like a wagon (yes we need to buy a real one....very, very soon!).  He loved it!  He just sat in there and played the rest of the walk.  Of course he has to be unique....he sat sideways and put his feet up! lol.

It was a great day!! I love going and watching him in therapy!!  Everything he does I assume is the norm.  I love hearing how great he's doing and how ahead he is!  He's 9 months old right now....but technically 8 months and 1 week adjusted.  They said he's going to be walking very soon because that's the last step.  I'm not ready for that!  Where did my baby go??  I'm supposed to have a good few months left before I have a toddler running around!

Microtia Poem

I met a family from California through Instagram!!  Her son has unilateral microtia and he's super cute!!  her attitude and confidence through her son is so inspiring.  I need to surround myself with more people like her!  Or better yet...inspire others like she has me!  She shared this poem with me and it made me tear up.  It's so beautifully written.  I will be putting this in Maxson's room and reading it to him everyday...

Enjoy!
I'm Special: 
On my way from Heaven, 
God Delayed my trip that day. 
He said that I was special, 
and then sent me on my way. 
But not before He kissed me, 
Right upon my ear. 
He left his blessed mark 
to carry with me here. 
He whispered in my ear right then, 
that He loved me without a doubt, 
and then He closed my ear up tight, 
so the whisper won't get out. 
He told me both my legs were strong 
and would help me stand up tall. 
He told me both my arms would work 
to catch me if I fall. 
My eyes would catch my memories 
to store within the pages of my mind, 
My heart would fill with all the things I would love, 
so many things, i would find. 
He told me I could fall asleep 
to my Daddy's bedtime tales, 
and listen while my mother sings 
of seas and boats and sails. 
For when I'm feeling sad, he said, 
my other ear would hear, 
His whispered words of eternal love, 
left waiting for me there. 
I'm special!!!!

Busy family!

Oh my...have we been busy, busy, busy!

We FINALLY moved into our new house! Our brand, spankin new house!  It's kind of weird to actually think you're the first person to take a shower in your shower or sit on your toilet (assuming the workers didn't use it!)

We met a couple neighbors so far!  On our block...the houses on the same side as us are occupied, but the ones across the way are still vacant.  The houses are all sold....they just haven't moved in yet!  Man, I hope they're nice!

We decided not to attend the Ear Conference this past weekend ://  After all the counting down....we backed out at the last minute!  There's just a lot going on in the Hess household with moving and what not.  The Ear Conference also had events for the kiddos, but seeing as how Maxson is only 9 months old...he won't be able to enjoy the events or "meet" other kids like him.  I was really excited to meet all the doctors!  I got the schedule a few days before and realized I would only be able to meet with each one for 10 minutes.  I know, I know....what was I expecting??  A full hour?  There were about 400 people that were attending...so 10 minutes was awesome!  But not to toot my own horn....but what could they possibly tell me in 10 minutes of meeting Maxson about his "condition" that I didn't already know??  I feel like I would need more time.  My phone interviews alone are at least an hour.  I'm thinking we'll attend the conference in 2015!  He'll be almost 3.....he'll like the Smores, movie under the stars, face painting, etc.

I decided to attend college again!! For the 9th (and hopefully last) time!  I was really going back and forth between business or arts.  I know it's on two different spectrum!  I was hoping I would like something in business.  Everyone looks at me funny when I even mention an arts degree.  I keep hearing I won't make any money and won't find a job.  But when I look at the classes I'll be taking for the arts degree, I get anxious with excitement!  So do you follow your "likes" or your bank account??  I'm always lecturing Jacob on having a job you don't like for years and what it does to your soul.  Yet, here I am....thinking the way every other American does.  I decided to follow my "likes."  I should be starting next week on a Bachelor's degree in Liberal Arts. What am I going to do with it?? Who knows??  But I'm halfway there! And I'm still young....if I decide to learn more, I can! Wish me luck!!

Dearest sister

July 10. 11:00pm. One hour away from my sister Misty's birthday.   She'll be 32 this year. 

I texted her from the last number she called me on.  I wanted to wish her a "happy birthday" and to let her know I love her.  Man, I hope that's the phone she still has.  Who really knows these days. 

I set down my phone...and realize its lit up..it's that number calling me.  Will it be a random person wondering why I'm texting them or is it my sister??

"Hello?" 

"Hi sister! Thanks for te Happy birthday text! I miss you...what are you doing?"

Alas! I'm talking to Misty.  And not just misty...because I talk to her quite often...but actually my sister.  The one we assumed was lost forever.  She likes to surprise us every now and then. 

I asked her the usual birthday questions...wondering what she had planned and who she was spending it with? I like to keep it casual and light...I'm not sure how long I have with her. 

I let her know Maxson is getting big and that we're still living in Vegas... I asked her how her girls were doing..

Halfway through her response she completely switched gears.  Misty left the conversation. 

I fight back tears and try to control the lump in my throat so I can reassure her I'm okay.  She's always wondering if I'm okay.  

The usual conversation follows.  I have to explain to her she's not dead..that she's alive and I'm really her sister. I go through the usual walk down memory lane to prove to her I am who I say I am.   I have to tell her things no one from her new life knows. 

The rest of our conversation is the usual....reassuring her we're all alive and well and no one is being tortured. She hears all of her family members constantly being tortured.  She always wonders if that's her hell she's in. 

It makes me wonder if her soul is still untouched. 

I hear my sister.  Even if it is for less than 5 minutes.   I have a casual conversation with her.  It might seem like nothing...but it's a false sense of hope that somewhere in that body...my sister still exists.  

I always relish the couple minutes we have and pretend everything is okay.  We're all okay.  She's okay.  

Meth has claimed yet another soul.  But we're not letting go of her's so easily.  

We're holding  onto you Misty.  As long as your heart still beats we'll be here.. Even to just have those 5 minute conversations. 

We love you...

more than you know. 

job interview!

I've always been a worker bee.  You know how some people were born to be teachers or made to be make-up artists?  I'm not sure what I'm "supposed" to be, but I know I'm a worker.  I like to think of myself as a jack-of-all-trades.  I can pretty much do anything anyone will let me do.  Well this is the longest I've gone without a job.  I know, I know....being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time job!! And not to mention one of the hardest jobs I've ever had!  I quit my 2 base jobs the last day in September last year and I can't believe it's already July!  I know when you're married, you are supposed to share money and what not, but I do like making my own money!  Plus, it doesn't hurt to have extra money to save!

One thing I do regret is not saving any money all these years!  I got my first job at our local bowling alley when I was 12!  I wasn't on the payroll, but I only worked for tips.  Being 12 years old, $20+ a night was a pretty good chunk of change!  I'm now going to be 27 soon and I have nothing to show for it.  My mom's wise words are starting to thump my brain these days.  She always told me to go to college and make something of myself.  My stubborn butt lived for the "now" and figured I could just work, since that's what I'm good at....  Well I have nothing to show for it.  I've been working all these years and nothing.  Well I can't exactly say nothing...all the stuff around our house is all out right owned by us!  That's gotta count for something, right??

The other night I just kept telling myself I need a job.  I would like to make extra money, especially to save... and it's the perfect time right now while Jacob is off 6+ months!  He can be at home with Maxson.  He's still exclusively breast fed, and can't/won't take a bottle...and not quite on a cup yet...so I still have to be around every so many hours.  I don't mind that at all!! I'm just hoping someone is willing to work with me on that....  I've never had a restricted availability!  Hopefully they'll see my resume and talk to my references and see I'm a hard worker and worth every penny they pay me.

I started applying to anything that seemed up my alley....  mainly retail.  I don't want to be on the sales floor....probably ever again!!  I like doing displays, floor sets, ect.  I LOVE organizing more than anything else!  Well I found a few jobs that only require a couple days a week for a few hours at a time...perfect!!

Well, I got a phone call the next day....

So today at 2:00p.m. I will be on an interview to work for Tommy Hilfiger doing floor sets, displays, and restocking!  I have never been so nervous in my life!  I've never not been offered at job I wanted....but now with my availability and my absolute 0 knowledge of this Mr. Tommy's brand has me scared.  I'll be fine though, right?  If they say no, I'll just move onto the next job.

I literally have dinosaurs in my stomach today!  I'm praying to God they don't ask me questions about the brand! I've been Googling and trying to study a little on it, but it's just not sinking in!

Whatever shall be, shall be!  Wish me luck :)

Pinterest

Oh Pinterest......I've been obsessed with you.  I make lots of different crafts I find and recently started cooking/baking!  Who am I?? :))  I'm fully domesticated now!

I decided to try the "vinegar" soak for veggies and fruits to help clean them better!  It also supposedly helps them last longer.  So....I tried it.

Did I notice them become cleaner??? Not that much of a difference.  It could be because I wash my produce very, very well though!  (Working at Albertsons and watching little heathens pick their nose and wipe it on grapes completely turned me OCD with veggies and fruits being clean!)

I have seen spider webs on grape stems....but the coolest thing about this was watching a giant spider....the exact same color as the green grapes crawl out from hiding...and float away.

• I submerged all of the produce (had to do 2 batches).
• Water and organic vinegar
• let sit for 30 min
• rinsed and stored

Did the produce last longer than normal?? I noticed the berries lasted probably a couple of days longer...but nothing too exciting!

I also came across different deodorants to try.... I honestly prefer to wax because of the baby soft pits I get! Now I'm a shave on the go type of girl...but it always brought me in-growns and irritation... which is another reason why I prefer waxing.  I always used Secret.  I've been a Secret kind of girl since I started wearing deodorant.  I decided to try the Dove "go sleeveless.."  LET ME TELL YOU IT'S LIFE CHANGING!! 

Ha!

How can a deodorant be life changing?  After the second day using it...my arm pits are as soft as a baby's bottom!  It even looks like I wax!  I will never change to another one again! 

I'm getting a nephew!!

If you read my post about the "pineapple" dream...you've probably been wondering who's having a girl around me!  When I posted that...I knew my sister was pregnant, but it wasn't announced to the world yet.  I was willing to bet everything I have that my sister was having a girl....it turns out it's a BOY!  I was at the ultra sound when they found out....and yes...there was a little nub on the screen!  We only have two boys in our generation in our family....and now there will be at least two in the next!  Our family is overrun by estrogen....we need more boys!  I do know one other family member who just found out they're pregnant....I wonder if she's having a girl?

She is due November 23!  I will be throwing her a baby shower...along with my Aunt Bob (Barbara) in our NEW house the first week of September!  We finally decided on a theme and am very, VERY excited :))))

Isn't he handsome?

Maxson is still in his bed!

I CANNOT believe tomorrow is the end of June!  Tomorrow will officially be the last day of the first half of the year....  oh my.  The rest of the year is going to be HECTIC in the Hess household! I can almost see a huge wave coming towards me...but the only thing to do is ride it, right?I just read my last post!  Wow I've been slacking! I'm VERY proud to say Maxson has continued to sleep in his own bed from the first night until now.  The little turkey.  I honestly think it was harder for me to let go than it was for him.  It's funny watching him on our video monitor (I can't thank God enough for technology)....he's ALL OVER THE PLACE!  He's experienced a freedom in his own space.  When I'd sleep with him...it made my life easier, especially because I breastfeed.  I thought about waking up, walking to his room, and feeding him throughout the night and cringed.  The glorious days of just rolling over and attaching him to my boob were over.  He would roll over a few times a night looking for a snack....keeping me in a light sleep all night.  But when I put him in his own bed....he sleeps all night.  I've read in baby books how babys and parents sleep better when they're in separate beds...but now I actually believe that theory.  I felt better with him next to me.  The thought of a burglar (do people still use that word) or a fire made me more content knowing he was next to me and safe in the chance of an emergency actually happening.  But one day I heard him talking...so I went over to the monitor and he was teeter-tottering on the edge of our bed above our nightstand!  NO BUENO!  I decided he should be in his own bed for his own safety. And let me tell you....I feel so much better that he's in his own bed!!  I still get my snuggles in though....because we all know that's important!

I mean who can resist this face when he stretches?!  It's my absolute favorite!

We still pull him in our bed in the mornings and snuggle! 

Maxson in his own bed!

So for 7 1/2 months Maxson has been sleeping with me.  Every single night.   I know some of you who are reading this are either praising or scoffing at me...but I absolutely loved every second of it.  I love snuggling with him.  I love the way he smells, the way he cuddles up to me, the way he wakes me up in the morning by grabbing my nose and talking, literally EVERYTHING.  But tonight...and every night from here on....he'll be sleeping in his own bed!

Since he was in the NICU for 31 days...I felt like he needed to have extra lovin from mommy when he came home!  Of course I visited him everyday and held him....but I couldn't wait to just lay him on my belly and chest in the comfort of our own home!  Well that mommy lovin extended until now!  Jacob was also deployed until he was 4 months old...so it was just me and the little guy.  Of course he slept with me!

When Jacob got home he immediately expressed his opinion of Maxson sleeping in his own bed.  We put him in his crib that night...but I woke up a few hours later with Maxson in between us! Jacob either couldn't resist Maxson's charm or didn't know how to put him back to sleep... :))  Either way, Maxsons been in OUR bed this whole time and we both LOVED it.  It would've presented problems if we both weren't on board!

Why is he in his own bed now?  Because we felt it was the perfect time to do so.  He can roll from belly to back...so that helps me with the whole SIDS issue.  He can't quite sit down on his own yet and can't pull himself up...

We want to start trying for another little rugrat towards the end of this year... and I can't imagine having a toddler still in our bed AND a newborn.  I see DANGER signs everywhere!  Then I imagine trying to transition a screaming toddler to his own bed and it does not sound like a fun time to me. If Maxson were going to be the only child....he probably would've been in our bed until he became a teenager!

On a normal day, I let Maxson take his naps on me for as long as he wanted.  Sometimes that would last up to 3 hours.  3 hours of not going to the bathroom or anything!!  I would always kick myself in the butt on those days for not visiting the loo beforehand.  At night I would lay down with him until he fell asleep and try to sneak out of our bed.  Some nights I would end up falling asleep with him because every time I tried to leave he would instantly notice and I'd have to lay back down!  Why don't I just rock him you ask?!? That would be because he's CONSTANTLY trying to eat from me.  He even latches on my chin! lol  But I didn't mind any of that because I'm a stay-at-home mom now...and this is my job.  I am blessed enough to have the opportunity to lay down with my son at night...without any other worries in the world.  So why not, right?

The little turkey is currently sound asleep in his crib....and already had his 3 naps in there as well!  Now we can really get our moneys worth from the baby video monitor we have :))))))

Cedars-Sinai it is!

Thank God for technology!  We got to have an "appointment" this morning on Skype with the director of the Children's Hospital pediatrics plastic surgery.  His name is John Reinisch ....he invented the Medpor (one of the options for reconstructing an ear with microtia)....he taught at USC and worked at the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles for a long time.  He's been doing this about 30 years!  I was worried to be referred to him at first...because everything I find on his accomplishments is about the Medpor reconstruction.  I love that he's the mind behind that idea...but I was more concerned about Maxson's face at the moment!

We were told if he didn't get his macrostomia (lips) and cheek fixed soon he'd have speech problems.  Obviously that scared us and didn't want him to have delays because we didn't take an initiative. The Dr. from Texas....Dr. Fearon....said to let him develop more and it's only cosmetic.  Dr. Reinisch said the same thing today.  Makes me sad other doctors are telling people their kiddos need unnecessary surgeries.  For that reason alone....I get my education at the University of Google!  I will not be scared or pressured into doing anything to Maxson that I don't research first and/or feel is necessary.  Don't get me wrong....I know doctors are obviously educated...but they are human and make mistakes like anyone else.  And doctors don't know everything...that's why there are specialists...who are also still human.  Maxson doesn't have a voice or say....but that's where I come in.

I learned some interesting things today!  I learned that since Maxson has his whole ear...it's just folded....that they could POSSIBLY just open it and reposition it in the place it's supposed to be (since it's 14mm off).  I didnt' understand how that was possible since his ear is closer to his jawline...and he has an ear canal....but apparently the ear canal is almost always in the correct spot...it's just the outer part of the ear that's off.  In all my researching and speaking to other doctors no one has mentioned that!  It was like a light bulb went off in my head!  I was worried they wouldn't be able to do anything to his ear in the future because of the ear canal...most people with low-set microtia have atresia (no ear canal) so it only made sense how they could fix their's..but Maxson's was a different story! I get it now!

I also learned that Maxson's cheek can be fixed!  All they do is inject fat into it to make it even with the other side :))))  Dr. Reinisch did a split screen on the computer and showed me before and after pics of  other patients with the same facial anomalies.  He also said his mouth is an easy fix.  I was expecting at least 6 surgeries.....he said Maxson's ear, cheek, and mouth can all be done in one surgery!  Hearing that was like music to my ears!

The cherry on the whole conversation though was when he explained to me about opening his ear canal more (it's like a cone right now....it's wide then becomes narrow)... apparently alot of patients who have an ear canal but it's narrow...get it opened and then can hear better!  I explained to him his CT results (he was NOT happy they gave him a CT scan...he said it's pointless to do CT scans on babies with that much radiation when they can't do any surgeries at the moment anyways) but he said even though he was born with the stapes embedded in the soft tissue....that was when he was 2 weeks old and that could've changed by now!  Oh man I'm hoping!

I have to call his office on Monday to set up an appointment with him to have a consultation the same week we'll be at the Ear Conference.  There's 2 ear conferences going on...one at the Terranea Resort and the other at Disneyland.  Apparently Dr. Reinisch and his colleagues will be at the Disneyland one...but I already paid and signed up for the other one :/  I could POSSIBLY get a refund...but it's going to cost the same either way and I'm sure I'll learn the same things at both.  It's not like I can hang out with and talk to the doctors I choose.  I also need to call the Balboa Craniofacial Center and get that referral!!  They'll write one since we'll be seen in California.  I can call our case worker here and Maxson's pediatrician and start the paperwork!

We're very excited!!  It's the best news I've ever heard in m y life!!  One surgery and possible restoration of his hearing!  I couldn't have wished for anything more!

If you want to see how the surgery is done....here's the video.  It's a tad gory for me...

Here's another video of his work!

Lots to do!

Lots of stuff have been going on!  We took a trip to Ridgecrest this past weekend for the Burroughs graduation!!  For the first time ever it was NOT in June!  But I kinda think they're onto something...it was also the first time EVER it wasn't extremely windy!  They tricked Mother Nature this time. 

We hung out with family and friends...and Maxson got to meet some family members he's never met....still have a few more of those  to go..

He's 7 months old now!! I can't believe it!  So far he loves bananas and pears! He rather enjoys being outdoors.  He's really trying to crawl!  And he loves bathtime! 

He met his new pediatrician yesterday!  He wasn't too bad...but I did like him more than the last one.  Unfortunately he's getting out of the military in August...so we have to find another one! Every time  we go there we get lectured on his vaccines...it's a bit annoying.  I wish we could afford to go off base to a pediatrician we choose ourselves. 

Dr. Granger...his current pediatrician...is submitting the paperwork to enroll us in the EFMP (exceptional family military program).  It keeps us stationed near his hospital and won't PCS us to a remote base...such as Edwards AFB or anywhere overseas.  We have to be stationed near medical facilities for Maxson. We did discuss the possibility of getting referred to Dr. Fearon in Dallas...but there are some sticky situations involved.  They need to look into the surgeries...how often we'll have to go there...ect.  If it's more than they like...they'll station us closer to the hospital.  The next part is going to make me sound terribly selfish....but I don't want to move over there. When I lived in Colorado...it was hard not seeing family that often...and Texas would be further away.  Now that Maxsons in the picture I feel like it would be harder to be away.  My moms also going through some medical issues...and I would hate to be so far away from her right now. Jacob also just got a job that guarantees he won't deploy for 4-6 years....but if we move he can deploy again.  Our house will be done next month as well.... I finally feel at home here and have been happy.  Does that make me a bad person?  I know that makes me selfish.  I should be ready to jump and move anywhere for Maxson.  Afterall, wherever your family is you can call it home...

I decided to finally start actually researching and speaking to other options in California.  I have a phone interview on Monday....a Skype interview with another director of a Craniofacial team on Saturday... I contacted the Seattle Children's hospital to see who they recommend in California...they gave me another hospital I've come across a few times..so I'll be calling them today.  Things are set in motion now to find him a hospital nearby that we feel comfortable with...if it ends up still being Dallas...then it ends up being Dallas.  I'll suck it up and get over it. But we want to be prepared with an alternative option just in case our insurance just flat out says no. The military switched insurance companies in April and they're still working our kinks....but we were told they they are a tad bit cheaper right now...the military is taking a lot of money cutbacks. 

Our house will be done next month!  It ended up being later than expected...so we had to make up a grown up decision and cancel another wedding invite and my best friend's birthday weekend :(((. So now that's 1 birthday and 2 weddings :/. Sometimes it sucks being an adult!! 

 

Oklahoma Torndado

Such a tragic event caused my non other than mother nature. I can't even begin to imagine what all those families are going through and the aftermath they are dealing with.

I had an old friend contact me last night and ask if I had heard what happened to our other childhood friend's nieces.... they were listed on the list of people who didn't survive. My heart immediately sank and my throat went into knots as I fought back tears.  We immediately started 2 donation websites to raise money for this family.  One is Give Forward  and the other is You Caring.  Not only did they lose their house, car, neighborhood, and comfort...they lost a part of their family.  When I Google the mom's name, there's lots of news coverage of their family.  They didn't have only one child taken, but two.  They also happened to have the youngest victim; their youngest daughter who was just 7 months old and the other daughter who was 4 years old.  So naturally, the media is featuring them more than other families.

So I ask of you, please, please, please donate anything you have.  I don't know what I would do if in a matter of an hour my life was turned upside down and I lost everything.  It's one thing to lose a house, but no one should have to bury their kids.  When you lose your parents you're an orphan, when you lose a spouse you're a widower, but there is no word for when you lose a baby.

You can even donate $1.00.  The donation page has over 1,000 views....if everyone would donate $1.00 it'd really make a difference!  You can even donate anonymously!  Please donate and/or spread the word!  With social media today it shouldn't be hard....Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, email, text messages, ect!!  Click on one of the links above and make a donation!  All proceeds from both websites go to the family!

Women only!

After knowing myself for 26 years...I had everything down about myself.  I had stick straight hair that would look straightened just by blow drying it. I knew which facewash and lotion to use.  I had a routine at showertime with the bodywash, shampoo, and lotion I've used for years.  If there's anything I love, it's consistency.

Well after getting pregnant with Maxson, all that went out the window!  Everyone knows the basics:  morning sickness, stretch marks, obviously weight gain, bigger boobs, ect.  But no one warned me about everything else that comes along with it!  Not that it would've changed anything, but a few warnings might've been nice!

1.  Stretch marks AFTER birth??

Stretch marks are your skin stretching from the INSIDE...out.  There's lots and lots of creams, oils, butters, lotions all targeted for those hopeful pregnant women....thinking if they slather themselves with these products they'll keep flawless skin.  But if you're going to stretch, you're going to stretch.  There's nothing you can do about it.  You can try to help the stretching process by moisturizing so there's less discomfort.  Some people I know didn't use anything and barely looked like they had a baby.  Other people spent money on those expensive creams that you can't find at Target or Walmart....and looked like their belly was a map. Well I didn't get any stretch marks the entire pregnancy (granted I had him 7 weeks early).  A week after I had him my hips and boobs were sooo itchy!  The #1 rule is to NOT SCRATCH under any circumstance!  You just smack, smack, smack the skin...but keep those claws retracted! Well since Maxson was already here I figured why not scratch away?! Oh and I did! I scratched and scratched and scratched and loved every second of it!  The next thing I knew....My right hip looked like I was attacked by Freddy Kreuger!  I couldn't fit the clothes I was wearing when I had him!  My hips expanded...causing that itch! Soooo.....be aware ladies!  Stretch marks are possible AFTER you have your baby.  You're not in the clear yet!

2.  Going bald?!?

I've heard of the thick, luxorious hair that comes with pregnancy.  That was one pregnancy symptom I was looking forward to!  My thin, straight hair was finally going to have some volume!!  What no one told me was your hair falls out!  Not just the usual 100 strands a day...but up to 500 strands!!  Everytime I took a shower it would clog.  I would touch my hair and have a handful.  I felt like that Marsha Brady chick on the movie "The Craft!"  Someone put a spell on me and now I was going to be bald.  When I talked to other mothers and even my doctor they all responded with the same "oh yeah!  The hair falling out stage!  It'll stop eventually!"  WHAT?!!? They knew?!  And no one told me?!?  They were right though...it eventually did stop and my hair did become thicker and the shiniest I've ever seen it.  I was a happy camper until Maxson turned about 5 months old....then the process started all over again!  Clogged showers and handfuls of hair!  And once again...the secret society wasnt shocked!  Apparently all that hair that had filled in gets to fall out now!!  Oh man.  I'm surprised I even have any hair left!  And another crazy thing...from those evil hormones....I have a mohawk of curly hair now o..o

3. Crying during commercials......yup....

So I've never really been the sensitive type.  Not even when I was pregnant.  I had a couple incidents over these burritos that Jacob couldn't find.  I freaked out, cried, and accused him of doing it on purpose! lol.  CRAZY LADY OVER HERE!  Buuuutttttt that only happened once.  It's funny to talk about now...but I really wanted those burritos!! (Long story short, my sister brought some back from Orange County because Jacob couldn't find them anywhere in Vegas).  After Maxson made his debut, I was crying over EVERYTHING! I saw a teddy bear and cried.  And as you might've guessed....I cried during a commercial.  A COMMERCIAL!  I needed help!    I had no warning for those kinds of issues!

4.  Waterbed tummy

As people might've guessed you can't really use your stomach muscles as well while pregnant.  You do lose a little muscle there.  It's a tad worse after a C-section because you REALLY can't use your stomach AT ALL!  It feels like your stomach is on fire if you try to sit up.  So I knew that....it's almost common sense..I would think.  Well after I had him my stomach deflated, like an air bed.  I could literally pinch my side and touch my fingers through my skin.  It felt like I only had skin and nothing else!  Weirdest feeling ever!  It reminded me of a waterbed when you touched it.

Just thought I'd give any future first time mothers out there a heads up!  It's nice to know what's coming :))  And granted, not everyone will experience these aftermath symptoms....but it's good to know just in case. But of course it was all worth it!

Anything you guys experienced that I didn't list???  Might give me a heads up for my next baby!

Big brother???

Koreans believe you can get some "future" answers from your dreams... I know that sounds crazy, and I've had my doubts...but I've witnessed this craziness first hand.  When you dream of all white (usually a wedding)...and yes it does matter who's getting married..and the details....it usually means a death will happen within a week or so.  I can only imagine what that sounds like from a reader's perspective who didn't grow up with a crazy Korean mom!  But I assure you.....it's never been wrong! Then you have the other random ones like your teeth falling out....I'm always forewarned to be careful and to drive safely (but nothing bad has happened yet!  Knock on wood!)  

Where is this story going  you ask??  If you haven't guessed by now...I had a dream.  (DUN, DUN, DUNNNNNNNN!)  Not a death dream....but I had a dream about a fruit.  What in the world does that mean?! It means someone is pregnant with a girl.  Not just any fruit though...a yellow pineapple.  

So....I wake up and vividly remember this sweet, yellow, juicy pineapple I indulged in in my dream! The first thing I do when I actually dream of something (doesn't happen very often) is call that crazy, Korean mother of mine to see what it means.  I guess you can say it's become kind of a "family tradition" to do that!  

I called her up...always starting with the casual "how are you....anything new?"  Then I dived right into my goldmine of a dream that I was dying to know what it meant.  My mom is excitedly telling me....in between the details....how someone is pregnant with a girl!  Awwww! How cute!  Now everyone around me is running through my head as I try to guess who got stumped and drank the water :)))

In my excitement I blurted out "it was so sweet and juicy!"....you know....talking about the pineapple.  What did I hear on the other line?

 Nothing. 

Not a thing. 

Dead silence.  

Then out of the silence came one of the sentences my mom is known for....
"Ooohhh myyy gaaahhhhhhhh."  

At that moment...I felt my stomach drop into my butt.  What just happened?! This conversation just took a U-turn into "let's scare Jennifer-Ville."  My mom then decides to ask how old Maxson is.  Not only do I hysterically scream "HE'S ONLY 6 MONTHS!!!!" into the phone...but then I got a flood of thoughts!  Oh man?! Is it me!?? I can't be pregnant already?! It's not in MY plan! HA! Like Maxson was planned! :)))))  She just says to "be careful" and gets off the phone.

At this point I'm kind of panicking.  Can I handle a one year old...and a newborn?! How am I going to breastfeed and ninja roll around this place trying to stop Maxson from any mischief he's planning for the day?  THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!!

So naturally I did what no girl should EVER do!  Never, ever, ever tell a guy you "might" be pregnant.  Not only is your stomach in your butt....but now so is his!   But I'm not considerate like that.....if I have to worry so is Jacob damnit!  And if I'm nervous....Jacob will be too!  .....but I actually just need a pregnancy test! I don't exactly feel like lugging Maxson around the store in his carseat...hunting down a pregnancy test.

Deja vu all over again.  Jacobs playing his game when I interrupted with "my mom scared me and now I think I'm pregnant."  Off to the store he went.  After 8 years of having my mom in his life...that sentence doesn't even confuse him.  Now this happened last time mind you...only we thought my sister was the knocked up one...and I was just taking one with her to be nice!  7 months later, Maxson arrived.  Now here we are again...except I'm by myself!

Jacob come back in what seems like the longest 10 minutes of my life! He hands me the box and takes Maxson downstairs.  Once again it's just me and this stick I have to pee on.  How special, right!? Why is it as women...we have to pee on a stick, then think of a fun way to let the "father" know and the rest of the family?? Why are we robbed from that celebration?! Don't get me wrong.  I will not hesitate to dance around my living room with a stick covered in my pee letting me know a baby is on shim's way.... but they should invent something cooler.  Like going to a doctor's office...and  walking through a door to a "surprise you're pregnant" party!  Just a thought.

After thinking 9 months ahead...waiting 2 minutes....and questioning everything going on in our lives at the moment....it reads "not pregnant!"  WOOOOOOOO! Take that mom!!  But now I can't help but wonder.....

Who's pregnant with a girl???  Is it you???  I guess in due time we shall find out!  Until then....I'm staying away from pineapples.