Have you ever seen the movie Marley & Me? The first time I watched that movie, I couldn't believe how similar that dog and our dog Sam were. I felt like they had hidden cameras all over our house and made a movie based on him. Even watching it now, I see so many similarities.
After we got married in 2007, we went to our first station in Colorado Springs, CO. What's one of the first things you do after you get married? You get a dog. Well, in our eyes it seemed like the next step and we THOUGHT we were ready.
Dating??
Check.
Engaged?
Check.
Career?
Check.
Married?
Check.
Next on our list was to get a dog. We both wanted a lab. Jacob really wanted a black lab. I didn't care which color, as long as it was a lab. My last dog growing up was a yellow lab named Jr. and Jacob had a childhood black lab named Skeeter. So in a way we wanted to have those memories back.
Our mission started on a saturday morning when adoptions were taking place all over the city. We ended up at a Wag n' Wash and saw mixed black labs. One was Sergeant and one was Sookie. We hung out with Sookie, he was the cuter of the two, and instantly bonded. We paid our dues and took him home. Picking out his name was very easy. He had white on his chest, just like Jacob's Hurley sweater he was wearing. He was the easiest dog we've ever had. He was a homeless puppy along with his brothers and sisters and had been fostered by an old lady. We were pleasantly surprised that at 3 months old, it took one potty accident to potty train him, he didn't chew on things, he was just all around a great starter dog.
Then one day, a couple months later, we had the bright idea to get him a companion. We both worked all day and thought Hurley could use some company. So on another saturday morning, we decided to go around the city again and look for another black lab. We overheard at one of the adoptions that a lady was selling black lab and one yellow lab puppies at Del Taco. We rushed over there as fast as we could! I wanted the yellow one....we've seen plenty of black labs by then, but no yellow labs. When we arrived, people were walking away with puppies, but there were still 6 black labs about 8 weeks old in the back of a truck with a camper shell. I picked out a quiet little girl sleeping on the side. Jacob wanted the only one with fierce blue eyes, a little boy. We had Hurley with us and decided it would be a family decision. Jacob walked to one side with his choice and I walked to the other with mine. We let Hurley off his leash. He ran straight to the puppy with blue eyes. It had been decided. We paid the lady and were on our way. The movie "I Am Legend" had recently come out, so no matter if it was a boy or a girl, the dog's name was going to be Sam. Samson. Samsonite. Sam I am. Sammy. Our new puppy. We didn't even get a block away when the puppy was howling. We should've known right then and there this was a bad idea.
The first night was terrible. He howled all night, just like a newborn baby. We tried to console him, but he would only stop crying if he was in the bed with us. It took over 3 months to potty train him. Everywhere he decided to go to the bathroom, so did Hurley. We had to train the new puppy and Hurley all over again. Needless to say, a steamvac was one of our first priorities. I came home on many different occasions with the house completely in shambles. He got into the donation food bag for Thanksgiving and completely ripped up the stuffing and jello mix. There was powder all over the living room. On top of that, he peed. So we had jello powder mix, mixed with dog pee on our carpet. Gross. When we left the house to run to the store, we drove by the front and looked over to see Sam standing on the screen window on top of a bush crying because he couldn't get down. By now he's 6 months old and about 50 pounds. Such a scaredy cat. Whenever he would do something bad, he would run straight into the room and under the bed. Well as he got bigger, he couldn't fit under there anymore, but in his mind he could. He would run in the room and dive under the bed, but only his head would be hidden. He would freeze his whole body to the point where I almost thought he was holding his breath. He was one of the hardest puppies ever! He was always getting into things, chewing on everything, eating everything, getting on all the furniture, etc. He really thought he was a lap dog. We decided to kennel train after all that. We tried doggy gates but those only worked for a couple of days before he realized he could get into other things. His kennel became his own bedroom and after a few months, he really loved his bed.
We realized about 6 months later that Sammy and Hurley were both black lab, but had taken over their other breed. We didn't know what else Sam was at the time, but as he got older it was obvious he was half Great Dane. So our little puppy was half horse. By the time they were both "adults" Hurley was 35 pounds and Sammy was 110 pounds. HUGE difference! But even then, calm Hurley was the alpha male and Sammy still thought he was the tiny puppy he was when he first met Hurley.
Sam had some funny little quirks about his personality. He was one of the most unique dogs I've ever come in contact with. When we brought Maxson home, everytime he would cry Sam would howl. He wanted nothing to do with Maxson...the new furless puppy had taken over and he was no longer the baby. He would wake us up every morning by having his face on the bed next to ours and breathing deeply. He snored. REALLY snored.
We took him to a dog park with a creek....and just like in Marley & Me, he completely embarassed us. All the other dogs were drinking the fresh creek water and laying in it.....our dog, Samson, pooped upstream. All you see is him squatting while his poop floated past all the other dogs. We just looked at each other and walked away. You would step on him and fall down and he wouldn't move a muscle. He laid down to eat and drink. He walked while squatting to poop...so there would be a poop trail. He knew how to open all the doors. He was always making his presence known. He always wanted to be with us no matter what we were doing in the house. He would even lay outside our shower and wait. He was pretty much the exact opposite of Hurley. Hurley is more like a cat. He likes to be by himself. Eats when he feels like it. Stares at the ball when you try to play fetch. Sleeps all day. Literally the exact opposite.
August 26th started out as a weird day in our household, but we didn't realize it at the moment. For some reason, in the end you start looking at the beginning. Over analyzing every detail in your day. Jacob usually sets his alarm to go to the gym in the morning, but snoozes through it. This particular morning he was ambitious and decided he was heading to the gym. It was cloudy out, so I wanted to take Maxson to a little hill nearby that had a park. We were going to hike and just hang out after his morning nap. Jacob came home as I was putting Maxson down around 9 a.m. He wanted to take the dogs out since it was cloudy so they could get their exercise (they get walked at night because it's too hot in the daytime). We weren't going to take them with us, because Sam gets pooped after his walk and likes to lay around. We were planning on hanging out for a little bit. I put Maxson down and pretty much just watched him contently playing in his crib through his monitor. He never does that on his morning nap. He's usually out for a good hour. Since he was content I let him be. About 45 minutes later, still no crying and still content. I watched him on the monitor as he cuddled up to his blanket and finally passed out. Everything is on Maxson's own terms. Little turkey.
It's now 10:00a.m. I run up to the roof deck to see if I can see Jacob and the boys walking back....I don't see them....so I assume they're on the other side and almost home.
My phone rings.
Jacob said Sam is laying down and can't walk and he needs me to go get him. They're down the street. Call me a bad mom, but I went down the street and got them while Maxson slept. When I pulled up, Sam was laying in the gutter with his head on the curb. He was bleeding from biting his tongue when he fell down. Sam is notorious for getting tired during his walks because of his bad back legs. That morning he showed persistence and wanted to go further than his normal walk, so Jacob obliged his request. Well now we thought he was showing signs of him being overworked. Typical Samson!
It takes him a little longer to get in the car than usual. It's like his paws don't work. Like watching a drunk dog attempting to use them for the first time. He decided to get in the front seat for the first time, but we didn't mind. He barely fits on the seat and is halfway onto me. My right arm was covered in blood and drool and blood was getting all over the seat and door. He really bit his tongue bad.
A couple minutes later we pull into the garage and guide him into the house. Again, his paws don't seem to work and he's stumbling all over the place. Now there's blood on our garage wall and door frame where he stumbled. We lay him down on the carpet, where it meets the tile, and let him rest. I give him his pain medicine for his legs, we wet some towels and wipe him down, get him a bowl of water, and just make him comfortable. We've done this before so we know the routine.
Maxson is still sleeping. Little turkey.
Sam won't drink any water, but keeps trying to get his head up and immediately lays back down. We decide he's pretty comfortable and just needs to rest, so we start hanging up curtain rods and try to finish our house projects since Maxson is asleep.
It's now 12:00 pm.
I walk by Sam and realize he's starting to seize. I know the signs since my old dog Jr. had epilepsy. Sam never seized before. I know it's a lab trait, but Jr. started doing it quite early in his life and Sam never did. He's only 5 years old. The only complication he's had is his back legs. I remained calm. Like I said, I've seen this before. You just have to give him his space and let the seizure go. Jacob starts comforting him as I start calling the Emergency Vet hospital out here. It's Monday....why is it closed? I call the other one which is quite a few miles away, they said to bring him in immediately. I run outside to take out the car seat to put Sam down in the back. I go back inside and see Jacob holding Sam in his arms on the ground. All I can hear is Jacob crying hysterically. Sam had died.
It's now 12:05.
I'm pretty much in shock at this point. What happened? What happened in 5 minutes from our dog having a seizure to him laying lifeless in my husband's arms? He wasn't supposed to die. He was having a seizure then he was going to be fine. How did our world flip upside down in a matter of minutes? We're both hysterical at this point. Poor Hurley is licking Sam's head and nose. Sam had bad ears and every single night Hurley would clean them. Even in death he is still taking care of his little brother. Sam is so lifeless and quiet. He's never this quiet, not even when he sleeps.
We laid with him, petting him and crying for the next 4 hours waiting for them to come and pick him up. We just kept telling stories and talking about memories. We'd cry in between. Blame ourselves for letting this happen. Wondering how in the world he was his hyper self just two hours before...
We decided to get him cremated and plan on sprinkling him in the snow, since that was his favorite. It's amazing how you wake up in the morning and go about your day not thinking this will be the last day I'll see my dog, or anyone for that matter. Again, what happened? This isn't how it was supposed to end for Sammy. Don't you usually put your dogs down? After speaking with a friend in the Vet field and looking up things online, it seems as though he had a heart attack. Heart problems are common in Great Danes and they live on average 6-8 years. We had no idea.
Maxson is still asleep which is also weird. For the first time ever, he ended up taking a 3 hour nap that day.
We didn't lose a dog that day, we lost our second son. We always got frustrated with him, but loved him none the less. He was more aggressive with Maxson than we cared for, so we always talked about getting rid of him. We'd ask around and mention it to people. I'd even joke that we'd pay for his food for a year. We honestly would never have done it. He was family. Even after being aggressive with our son twice and nephew twice, we still kept him. He was a part of our family and this is his home. We bought this home with intentions of living out our plans and creating new memories as a family...and Sam was in all of them. We loved how open the living area was, so we could play fetch in the house with him. We were excited about all the walking trails and areas around our new neighborhood and tried with our might to start walking them on a daily basis.
I always thought I'd come home one day and find Maxson riding Sammy like a horse. It makes me laugh and want to cry at the sametime just thinking about that. I thought Sammy would graduate from sleeping next to Jacob on his side of the bed to sleeping with Maxson in his bed. I even thought about how I would have to tell Maxson his dog died. I'm even more sad that Maxson will never get to experience this wonderful, but crazy dog of ours. Stories will never do him justice. We have plenty of videos. And even videos we've taken with him around, all you hear is his heavy breathing or one of us yelling at him. Sam was always there. The one thing we noticed right away was how quiet our house is. Our house hasn't been quiet since before we bought our little Del Taco puppy with the blue eyes. It's like an eerie quiet. Something is missing. Our house just feels cold.
I've never felt a heartache like this. I've lost my grandparents, my dad, a few friends throughout the years, but never have I felt like my soul is physically hurting. All I could think about after he died was how mean I was to him. I could've pet him a little more. Bought him more treats. Paid a lot more attention to him even though Maxson was here now. But that's what you do when someone dies, right? Regret is one of the steps of grieving.
The hardest moments are the ones when you know Sam would be doing something. I was cleaning Maxson's high chair and held some of his treats behind me and called for Sam, not even thinking. Instantly I started bawling. Jacob always called Sam's name when we were heading up to bed....he still did a few times. We never realized how much he was a part of our daily lives until he wasn't anymore. He had to be right there when we were giving Maxson a bath or putting him down for his nap or for the night. He was always there.
You never know how someone feels. I lost my dad, but someone else might feel different about their dad. Or people around me felt different when my dad died than I did. I look at Hurley and hurt for him. I'll never know or understand how he feels. He lost his best friend that has been with him every single day for the past 5 years. I'll never know the bond they felt or how much he's hurting. I can see he's changed. He didn't eat for almost a week. Hurley never ate until Sam did first. Must've been a big brother thing. We picked up Sam's ashes exactly a week after it happened. The first thing Hurley did was eat his entire bowl of food. I was shocked. He wouldn't even come around us. Hurley always slept elsewhere in the house and Sam was always out and about with us in the living room or what not. Hurley slept in all of Sam's usual nap spots. Even when we went to sleep for the night, Hurley slept in Sammy's bed. Throughout the day, he would walk in and out of all the rooms, even scratching the door to go on the deck. He would scope out every nook and cranny looking for his little brother. Just observing him made my heart hurt so much more. I realized we put Hurley away when they took Sam's body. That was probably a mistake on our part. He probably didn't get his chance to say goodbye.
Oh Samson. He's definitely a dog that will never be replaced or can be replaced. He left a mark on every person he met....whether it was his drool or his personality. I've never seen my husband grieve as much as he does for Sam. Of course we still talk about him everyday. I say hi to him since he's in our living room now, but it'll never be the same. Our new house, barely lived in, actually has memories of Sam in every single room. We even see his eye boogies in places they shouldn't be.
Who knows how long we'll grieve, or if we'll ever stop. There's no time limit on grief just like there's no measurement on love. High in sight, I'm glad we never took him to the vet. He died right here with his family and those he loved more than himself. He died comfortable and not in a vet office. He'll forever be the coolest dog we ever had....and will always have a special place with us. Our Sam.
After we got married in 2007, we went to our first station in Colorado Springs, CO. What's one of the first things you do after you get married? You get a dog. Well, in our eyes it seemed like the next step and we THOUGHT we were ready.
Dating??
Check.
Engaged?
Check.
Career?
Check.
Married?
Check.
Next on our list was to get a dog. We both wanted a lab. Jacob really wanted a black lab. I didn't care which color, as long as it was a lab. My last dog growing up was a yellow lab named Jr. and Jacob had a childhood black lab named Skeeter. So in a way we wanted to have those memories back.
Our mission started on a saturday morning when adoptions were taking place all over the city. We ended up at a Wag n' Wash and saw mixed black labs. One was Sergeant and one was Sookie. We hung out with Sookie, he was the cuter of the two, and instantly bonded. We paid our dues and took him home. Picking out his name was very easy. He had white on his chest, just like Jacob's Hurley sweater he was wearing. He was the easiest dog we've ever had. He was a homeless puppy along with his brothers and sisters and had been fostered by an old lady. We were pleasantly surprised that at 3 months old, it took one potty accident to potty train him, he didn't chew on things, he was just all around a great starter dog.
Then one day, a couple months later, we had the bright idea to get him a companion. We both worked all day and thought Hurley could use some company. So on another saturday morning, we decided to go around the city again and look for another black lab. We overheard at one of the adoptions that a lady was selling black lab and one yellow lab puppies at Del Taco. We rushed over there as fast as we could! I wanted the yellow one....we've seen plenty of black labs by then, but no yellow labs. When we arrived, people were walking away with puppies, but there were still 6 black labs about 8 weeks old in the back of a truck with a camper shell. I picked out a quiet little girl sleeping on the side. Jacob wanted the only one with fierce blue eyes, a little boy. We had Hurley with us and decided it would be a family decision. Jacob walked to one side with his choice and I walked to the other with mine. We let Hurley off his leash. He ran straight to the puppy with blue eyes. It had been decided. We paid the lady and were on our way. The movie "I Am Legend" had recently come out, so no matter if it was a boy or a girl, the dog's name was going to be Sam. Samson. Samsonite. Sam I am. Sammy. Our new puppy. We didn't even get a block away when the puppy was howling. We should've known right then and there this was a bad idea.
The first night was terrible. He howled all night, just like a newborn baby. We tried to console him, but he would only stop crying if he was in the bed with us. It took over 3 months to potty train him. Everywhere he decided to go to the bathroom, so did Hurley. We had to train the new puppy and Hurley all over again. Needless to say, a steamvac was one of our first priorities. I came home on many different occasions with the house completely in shambles. He got into the donation food bag for Thanksgiving and completely ripped up the stuffing and jello mix. There was powder all over the living room. On top of that, he peed. So we had jello powder mix, mixed with dog pee on our carpet. Gross. When we left the house to run to the store, we drove by the front and looked over to see Sam standing on the screen window on top of a bush crying because he couldn't get down. By now he's 6 months old and about 50 pounds. Such a scaredy cat. Whenever he would do something bad, he would run straight into the room and under the bed. Well as he got bigger, he couldn't fit under there anymore, but in his mind he could. He would run in the room and dive under the bed, but only his head would be hidden. He would freeze his whole body to the point where I almost thought he was holding his breath. He was one of the hardest puppies ever! He was always getting into things, chewing on everything, eating everything, getting on all the furniture, etc. He really thought he was a lap dog. We decided to kennel train after all that. We tried doggy gates but those only worked for a couple of days before he realized he could get into other things. His kennel became his own bedroom and after a few months, he really loved his bed.
We realized about 6 months later that Sammy and Hurley were both black lab, but had taken over their other breed. We didn't know what else Sam was at the time, but as he got older it was obvious he was half Great Dane. So our little puppy was half horse. By the time they were both "adults" Hurley was 35 pounds and Sammy was 110 pounds. HUGE difference! But even then, calm Hurley was the alpha male and Sammy still thought he was the tiny puppy he was when he first met Hurley.
Sam had some funny little quirks about his personality. He was one of the most unique dogs I've ever come in contact with. When we brought Maxson home, everytime he would cry Sam would howl. He wanted nothing to do with Maxson...the new furless puppy had taken over and he was no longer the baby. He would wake us up every morning by having his face on the bed next to ours and breathing deeply. He snored. REALLY snored.
We took him to a dog park with a creek....and just like in Marley & Me, he completely embarassed us. All the other dogs were drinking the fresh creek water and laying in it.....our dog, Samson, pooped upstream. All you see is him squatting while his poop floated past all the other dogs. We just looked at each other and walked away. You would step on him and fall down and he wouldn't move a muscle. He laid down to eat and drink. He walked while squatting to poop...so there would be a poop trail. He knew how to open all the doors. He was always making his presence known. He always wanted to be with us no matter what we were doing in the house. He would even lay outside our shower and wait. He was pretty much the exact opposite of Hurley. Hurley is more like a cat. He likes to be by himself. Eats when he feels like it. Stares at the ball when you try to play fetch. Sleeps all day. Literally the exact opposite.
August 26th started out as a weird day in our household, but we didn't realize it at the moment. For some reason, in the end you start looking at the beginning. Over analyzing every detail in your day. Jacob usually sets his alarm to go to the gym in the morning, but snoozes through it. This particular morning he was ambitious and decided he was heading to the gym. It was cloudy out, so I wanted to take Maxson to a little hill nearby that had a park. We were going to hike and just hang out after his morning nap. Jacob came home as I was putting Maxson down around 9 a.m. He wanted to take the dogs out since it was cloudy so they could get their exercise (they get walked at night because it's too hot in the daytime). We weren't going to take them with us, because Sam gets pooped after his walk and likes to lay around. We were planning on hanging out for a little bit. I put Maxson down and pretty much just watched him contently playing in his crib through his monitor. He never does that on his morning nap. He's usually out for a good hour. Since he was content I let him be. About 45 minutes later, still no crying and still content. I watched him on the monitor as he cuddled up to his blanket and finally passed out. Everything is on Maxson's own terms. Little turkey.
It's now 10:00a.m. I run up to the roof deck to see if I can see Jacob and the boys walking back....I don't see them....so I assume they're on the other side and almost home.
My phone rings.
Jacob said Sam is laying down and can't walk and he needs me to go get him. They're down the street. Call me a bad mom, but I went down the street and got them while Maxson slept. When I pulled up, Sam was laying in the gutter with his head on the curb. He was bleeding from biting his tongue when he fell down. Sam is notorious for getting tired during his walks because of his bad back legs. That morning he showed persistence and wanted to go further than his normal walk, so Jacob obliged his request. Well now we thought he was showing signs of him being overworked. Typical Samson!
It takes him a little longer to get in the car than usual. It's like his paws don't work. Like watching a drunk dog attempting to use them for the first time. He decided to get in the front seat for the first time, but we didn't mind. He barely fits on the seat and is halfway onto me. My right arm was covered in blood and drool and blood was getting all over the seat and door. He really bit his tongue bad.
A couple minutes later we pull into the garage and guide him into the house. Again, his paws don't seem to work and he's stumbling all over the place. Now there's blood on our garage wall and door frame where he stumbled. We lay him down on the carpet, where it meets the tile, and let him rest. I give him his pain medicine for his legs, we wet some towels and wipe him down, get him a bowl of water, and just make him comfortable. We've done this before so we know the routine.
Maxson is still sleeping. Little turkey.
Sam won't drink any water, but keeps trying to get his head up and immediately lays back down. We decide he's pretty comfortable and just needs to rest, so we start hanging up curtain rods and try to finish our house projects since Maxson is asleep.
It's now 12:00 pm.
I walk by Sam and realize he's starting to seize. I know the signs since my old dog Jr. had epilepsy. Sam never seized before. I know it's a lab trait, but Jr. started doing it quite early in his life and Sam never did. He's only 5 years old. The only complication he's had is his back legs. I remained calm. Like I said, I've seen this before. You just have to give him his space and let the seizure go. Jacob starts comforting him as I start calling the Emergency Vet hospital out here. It's Monday....why is it closed? I call the other one which is quite a few miles away, they said to bring him in immediately. I run outside to take out the car seat to put Sam down in the back. I go back inside and see Jacob holding Sam in his arms on the ground. All I can hear is Jacob crying hysterically. Sam had died.
It's now 12:05.
I'm pretty much in shock at this point. What happened? What happened in 5 minutes from our dog having a seizure to him laying lifeless in my husband's arms? He wasn't supposed to die. He was having a seizure then he was going to be fine. How did our world flip upside down in a matter of minutes? We're both hysterical at this point. Poor Hurley is licking Sam's head and nose. Sam had bad ears and every single night Hurley would clean them. Even in death he is still taking care of his little brother. Sam is so lifeless and quiet. He's never this quiet, not even when he sleeps.
We laid with him, petting him and crying for the next 4 hours waiting for them to come and pick him up. We just kept telling stories and talking about memories. We'd cry in between. Blame ourselves for letting this happen. Wondering how in the world he was his hyper self just two hours before...
We decided to get him cremated and plan on sprinkling him in the snow, since that was his favorite. It's amazing how you wake up in the morning and go about your day not thinking this will be the last day I'll see my dog, or anyone for that matter. Again, what happened? This isn't how it was supposed to end for Sammy. Don't you usually put your dogs down? After speaking with a friend in the Vet field and looking up things online, it seems as though he had a heart attack. Heart problems are common in Great Danes and they live on average 6-8 years. We had no idea.
We didn't lose a dog that day, we lost our second son. We always got frustrated with him, but loved him none the less. He was more aggressive with Maxson than we cared for, so we always talked about getting rid of him. We'd ask around and mention it to people. I'd even joke that we'd pay for his food for a year. We honestly would never have done it. He was family. Even after being aggressive with our son twice and nephew twice, we still kept him. He was a part of our family and this is his home. We bought this home with intentions of living out our plans and creating new memories as a family...and Sam was in all of them. We loved how open the living area was, so we could play fetch in the house with him. We were excited about all the walking trails and areas around our new neighborhood and tried with our might to start walking them on a daily basis.
I always thought I'd come home one day and find Maxson riding Sammy like a horse. It makes me laugh and want to cry at the sametime just thinking about that. I thought Sammy would graduate from sleeping next to Jacob on his side of the bed to sleeping with Maxson in his bed. I even thought about how I would have to tell Maxson his dog died. I'm even more sad that Maxson will never get to experience this wonderful, but crazy dog of ours. Stories will never do him justice. We have plenty of videos. And even videos we've taken with him around, all you hear is his heavy breathing or one of us yelling at him. Sam was always there. The one thing we noticed right away was how quiet our house is. Our house hasn't been quiet since before we bought our little Del Taco puppy with the blue eyes. It's like an eerie quiet. Something is missing. Our house just feels cold.
I've never felt a heartache like this. I've lost my grandparents, my dad, a few friends throughout the years, but never have I felt like my soul is physically hurting. All I could think about after he died was how mean I was to him. I could've pet him a little more. Bought him more treats. Paid a lot more attention to him even though Maxson was here now. But that's what you do when someone dies, right? Regret is one of the steps of grieving.
The hardest moments are the ones when you know Sam would be doing something. I was cleaning Maxson's high chair and held some of his treats behind me and called for Sam, not even thinking. Instantly I started bawling. Jacob always called Sam's name when we were heading up to bed....he still did a few times. We never realized how much he was a part of our daily lives until he wasn't anymore. He had to be right there when we were giving Maxson a bath or putting him down for his nap or for the night. He was always there.
You never know how someone feels. I lost my dad, but someone else might feel different about their dad. Or people around me felt different when my dad died than I did. I look at Hurley and hurt for him. I'll never know or understand how he feels. He lost his best friend that has been with him every single day for the past 5 years. I'll never know the bond they felt or how much he's hurting. I can see he's changed. He didn't eat for almost a week. Hurley never ate until Sam did first. Must've been a big brother thing. We picked up Sam's ashes exactly a week after it happened. The first thing Hurley did was eat his entire bowl of food. I was shocked. He wouldn't even come around us. Hurley always slept elsewhere in the house and Sam was always out and about with us in the living room or what not. Hurley slept in all of Sam's usual nap spots. Even when we went to sleep for the night, Hurley slept in Sammy's bed. Throughout the day, he would walk in and out of all the rooms, even scratching the door to go on the deck. He would scope out every nook and cranny looking for his little brother. Just observing him made my heart hurt so much more. I realized we put Hurley away when they took Sam's body. That was probably a mistake on our part. He probably didn't get his chance to say goodbye.
Oh Samson. He's definitely a dog that will never be replaced or can be replaced. He left a mark on every person he met....whether it was his drool or his personality. I've never seen my husband grieve as much as he does for Sam. Of course we still talk about him everyday. I say hi to him since he's in our living room now, but it'll never be the same. Our new house, barely lived in, actually has memories of Sam in every single room. We even see his eye boogies in places they shouldn't be.
Who knows how long we'll grieve, or if we'll ever stop. There's no time limit on grief just like there's no measurement on love. High in sight, I'm glad we never took him to the vet. He died right here with his family and those he loved more than himself. He died comfortable and not in a vet office. He'll forever be the coolest dog we ever had....and will always have a special place with us. Our Sam.
