Dearest sister

July 10. 11:00pm. One hour away from my sister Misty's birthday.   She'll be 32 this year. 

I texted her from the last number she called me on.  I wanted to wish her a "happy birthday" and to let her know I love her.  Man, I hope that's the phone she still has.  Who really knows these days. 

I set down my phone...and realize its lit up..it's that number calling me.  Will it be a random person wondering why I'm texting them or is it my sister??

"Hello?" 

"Hi sister! Thanks for te Happy birthday text! I miss you...what are you doing?"

Alas! I'm talking to Misty.  And not just misty...because I talk to her quite often...but actually my sister.  The one we assumed was lost forever.  She likes to surprise us every now and then. 

I asked her the usual birthday questions...wondering what she had planned and who she was spending it with? I like to keep it casual and light...I'm not sure how long I have with her. 

I let her know Maxson is getting big and that we're still living in Vegas... I asked her how her girls were doing..

Halfway through her response she completely switched gears.  Misty left the conversation. 

I fight back tears and try to control the lump in my throat so I can reassure her I'm okay.  She's always wondering if I'm okay.  

The usual conversation follows.  I have to explain to her she's not dead..that she's alive and I'm really her sister. I go through the usual walk down memory lane to prove to her I am who I say I am.   I have to tell her things no one from her new life knows. 

The rest of our conversation is the usual....reassuring her we're all alive and well and no one is being tortured. She hears all of her family members constantly being tortured.  She always wonders if that's her hell she's in. 

It makes me wonder if her soul is still untouched. 

I hear my sister.  Even if it is for less than 5 minutes.   I have a casual conversation with her.  It might seem like nothing...but it's a false sense of hope that somewhere in that body...my sister still exists.  

I always relish the couple minutes we have and pretend everything is okay.  We're all okay.  She's okay.  

Meth has claimed yet another soul.  But we're not letting go of her's so easily.  

We're holding  onto you Misty.  As long as your heart still beats we'll be here.. Even to just have those 5 minute conversations. 

We love you...

more than you know.